When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, sell them things to me. I'm a sucker for a lemonade stand. I'll always overpay too. I'm ok with that.
When Drew and I were in 9th grade, we were walking home from an adventure that involved spray paint and and a bridge. We were a little parched and came upon some kinds selling lemonade. We obviously stopped. The drinks were $.25, and I only had a $10. I hooked the kids up and didn't ask for change. As we were walking away, Drew looks over at me and asks a very simple question: "Do you think those kids have any idea that two dope graffiti heads just bought lemonade from them"?
It sparked a long conversation about how we pass by people all day long and have interactions with them, but do they really know what we do in our spare time? Especially if our spare time included climbing under bridges and into train yards? No way.
So we more or less decided that any time we pass by a lemonade stand, we would stop and get some. I've tried as much as I could to adhere to that. Take today for instance. I was driving along Grand Ave. on the South side and saw some kids getting their lemonade hustle on. I had to stop. It seems like lemonade prices haven't changed with inflation at all. Still, $.25 for a glass.
So if you see me wandering down the street and are in a quick need of a quarter, put up a makeshift lemonade stand, and I'm in.

Sidenotes:
-Don't break the Sunday truce. It's been around as long as the game itself
-Uptown art fair next weekend. Boom shakalaka
-3 times this month, someone has told me I look like Adam Levine. I guess that's a good thing
-I love baseball. I could play baseball all day and night if I could. It's that joyous boy in me that keeps trying to get out
-The Olympics are in full swing. I have no interest in 90% of those sports for the 3 years in between, but come the 4th year, I'm hooked

Drunk Downloading

*Disclaimer* Ok, we can all agree that drunk driving is a horrible thing to do. In fact, it's probably one of the most selfish and potentially destructive things we can do as humans. Please do not think I'm making a direct comparison. Thanks.

I found that drinking a bottle of wine and jumping on Itunes is a horrible, yet entertaining act. For instance, when I get that "Itunes receipt" notification, I always question if that's what happened. I can directly relate the most questionable songs on my Ipod to that. Take Lisa Loeb's Stay. I'm not going to lie and say it isn't a great song, but after a glass or two, that song becomes epic. And it needs to be downloaded ASAP. And what about Wilson Phillip's Hold On. Wow. Not even going to try and explain why that was playing at such a loud volume. Sorry neighbors.
But take my word for it. Don't drink and download. It's an epidemic. So next time you're feeling a little Paula Abdul and Rush, Rush, just ask yourself "What would Jon do"? Ok, not going to fib, I'd probably download it too.

Give up the goods

Not that you really care, or that this is even a relevant topic, but I am severely craving some Mexican food. I ran down to the Marquette food trucks today in search of a taco, but there were none to be had! Hola Arepa had a line like 60 people deep, and I don't have time for that!
I'm on a journey quest for some chimichurri and cilantro. So step up or step off.

*stomach growling*

Roman Holiday

Kristen and I went to see Roman Holiday at the Guthrie last night. Going into it, I had a lot of mixed feelings. I've heard it's below average, and that it was great. I actually thought it was very well done. It's hard taking a classic Hepburn movie and turning it into a song and dance show, but I think they did a great job at it. It get's 4 out of 7 (Jon) B's! I don't know enough about theatre to critic it beyond that. Sorry stage nerds, but that's all you'll get out of me.

Afterwards, we got to see the Target sponsored (whoop! whoop!) fireworks. Hot damn, they were good.

As we strolled along the Stone Arch bridge after dusk, and the heat  and humidity were climbing, I couldn't help to reflect on our trip to Italy. And yes, seeing Roman Holiday probably spawned most of the wandering thoughts. I don't know if I could ever live in Italy for the rest of my life, but I could certainly try. If I ever won the lottery, you would all know. Why? Because all of a sudden I would disappear like a baby daddy on Maury. I would buy a villa in Tuscany and Provence, locate a very old typewriter* and write short stories for the rest of my life.
Each day would be exactly the same. Wake up, have some breakfast, read the paper, go for a run and/or bike ride along the vineyards, write through lunch and enjoy a different dinner each night alongside a Brunello di Montalcino or Cortes du Rhone, and cap it off with an episode of The Wire. What a life. Of course there would be some variances (market day, trips to London, gelato stops, etc...). But I couldn't think of a more pleasant way to spend the rest of my life. And in fact, that would be how I would love to bring up my children. My wife may have a different idea of how to spend the next 80 years though (FYI, I plan to live to 110).

*On a side note, how awesome are typewriters?? There is something so therapeutic to the nostalgic sounds of the keys and ribbon fluttering about like trained bees hitting the paper. I absolutely love it. If I could blog from a typewriter, I would. You'd catch me in a coffee shop noisily striking down these random thoughts!

2nd Side note. I can't stop listening to James Brown these days. I literally find myself dancing away at my desk here, when I should be writing. I just two stepped my way down the hall as Give It Up or Turn It Loose came on.

3rd Side note. My new thing is going to be telling people that I'm a "retired baseball player". Did I actually play for MLB? No way, but my high school career should serve as enough foundation for that statement. And I did almost try out for the Twins. And by almost, I mean I filled out the pre-waiver form online. If Steve Dahl can say he is a retired athlete, I can get away with this general statement.

4th Side note. I'm slowly but surely making progress on both books. One will be about a grown ass man who decides to take a high-school-esq summer vacation and work part time at a coffee shop with other high schoolers. The second is still around the guy who travels to San Francisco to jump off the Golden Gate. Two very different ends of the humor spectrum. And to be honest, writing both at the same time causes some theme challenges.....

I need to re watch The Sandlot. I fancy myself a bit of a Yeah-Yeah, while Kristen thinks I'm a little more Squints Palledorous.

So a friend of mine got me a super nice hardcover version of Sun Tzu's Art of War. I remember reading the book back in high school, but I don't think I fully understood it at the time. I reread it over the weekend, and it made much more sense as an adult. One quote really stood out to me "Reinforce success and starve failure". The more and more I think about it, I can really apply that at work. While the book was written from the point of view of war, it has SO many applicable points of view that can be applied to the workplace. Something more for me to noodle over in the coming days....

On a serious note, the whole tragedy in Colorado really has me bugged out. There are so many instances where we feel safe and secure as a society, and all it takes is one individual to disrupt the entire matrix. I don't think I'll be able to go into a theater in the next few weeks and not think about that. It is an absolute tragedy and my thoughts go out to the families and individuals affected.

On a happier note, if you google "Lego Wire Parody", be prepared to be EXTREMELY entertained. It is hilarious. I love anything associated with The Wire.

Lines and Out

I dislike lines. Pretty much lines of any sort. If someone were to say "yo Jon, what do you want to get rid of"? I would be all like "Lines". Traffic, lines to check out, lines in tic tac toe. All of them equally a waste of time. I understand that lines are a necessity of organized society, but that doesn't stop me from pondering what they would be like while I'm standing in them.

On another note, Target softball starts on Monday. You could say I'm pretty jazzed about it.