No Sleep Till Brooklyn aka Parenting Ain't Easy

Sometimes words cannot express experiences or emotions. I would rather use a lot of 4 letter words to describe the current state of the state. 

To put it bluntly, teething babies are the worst creations on this planet. Actually, scratch that. Teething babies that are SICK are the worst creation on this planet. Our guy turned one last weekend and it's been an uphill battle since. It started out as a bit of the stomach flu one morning. No big deal. He got over it rather quickly. Then he got Croup at the same time some more teeth decided to come in. Holy F*&$in S*@t. It's been a steady stream of tears, headbutting, fighting to eat, not sleeping (that not sleeping thing is heavily favored towards him), yelling, crying, whimpering, and the list goes on.

I got a text from a friend the other night at about 3am. I was up with the kid walking him around the living room trying to console him. The text read "We're just getting home. Half of the club came with us. My house is pretty much a bomb shelter right now". I felt like reaching through that screen and pulling out his teeth. 

Now parenting isn't all bad. I complain far more than I praise. It's a work in progress for me. I feel like I fail more times than not. This is all brand new to me. From the pregnant wife, to the birth, to the first 6 months where I felt like I was going slightly insane (no, really), to a year into it and still finding out that my kid is ever-evolving faster than I can keep up. 

It takes a village. Oddly, it comes from some pretty funny online communities for chuckleheads like me that are going through this at the same time (i.e. when's the last time you slept in past 7?). We're a support group of sorts. And it helps to have a family that is a phone call away. I can always count on my mom to give me some outdated advice that I doubt I will actually apply to my child. But I appreciate the hell out of the advice and reassurance anyway. 

So until next time. 

okbai

And this little piggy...

The lamest excuse for not blogging a lot? I broke a toe. Like, REALLY broke a toe. Steve Dahl style broke a toe. 
Secondly (and unrelated to the above topic), I am a horrible crock pot cook. You would think that would be impossible, but it's true. I tried making some korean ribs in there, and they turned out dry and nasty. I'm not going to full on give up, but I might have to go back to my sauté pan and cast iron skillet for a while. 

Happy October. 

Deuces. 

Labor Pains

Dear Summer, I know you gone miss me. For we've been together like Nike airs and crisp T's. 

I love that Jay Z song (Dear Summer for those who don't know). It always seems very fitting to me around Labor Day. The Minnesota State Fair is over, we're rolling into September and football is starting. For all intents and purposes, Summer is behind us. 
Fall is a great season in Minnesota, but it reminds me of a Sunday. The coolness of Saturday has already passed, and while technically it's still a weekend, you know what tomorrow brings. And tomorrow is Winter. I hate winter with a passion. But that's a topic for a different day.

I'm completely wasting my life away playing Skyrim. I picked it up randomly this past week and have probably put 10 hours into it already. I love it. The one thing that takes away from the awesomeness is that it randomly glitches on me. But other than that, it's AM-azing. 

I'm a die hard Twins fan. But you already knew that. But it's incredibly difficult to watch this team play this year. Most of the roster is a bunch of nobody's that should probably be in AAA. One of my favorite Major League lines is "who the fuck are these guys"? I sometimes feel like that when I'm watching the Twinkies. Chris Callabelo? Oswaldo Arcia? One day they might make an impact, but for the time being, their just bodies filling jerseys. My seamhead friends are more upset than I am that we're rebuilding for 2016 when Sano and Buxton get up here. But as a lifelong Cubs fan (yes, you can technically be both) I'm used to losing seasons. But we still love our team and we come out to fill the ballpark. Winning isn't EVERYTHING....right? 

Also, the next idiot who tries to compare Breaking Bad to The Wire is getting punched in the neck. 

You are what you watch

A while back, The Star Tribune did a really good article (I can't find the link) about how restaurants in the Twin Cities are forming from not just places to eat, but a place to be seen. Instead of bars and clubs, the younger crowd is opting for fois gras as Bar La Grassa. There is a social hierarchy aspect to eating these days, and I found it quite interesting. 

Which leads me to television. I feel like more and more, people are becoming defined by what they watch. But only a handful of shows. If in casual conversation you say "I enjoy watching ESPN or The Simpsons", nobody seems to notice or care. But throw in a "Did you catch the last Game of Thrones" into a sentence, and you'll surely catch the attention of some. 

Certain shows seem to have a cult following that break the episodes down into every aspect possible. I was just talking to someone about how Breaking Bad uses color on the characters to foreshadow what is to come. I never really noticed it, but he intensely watches each episode for those things.

The Wire is by far my favorite show of all time. And any time someone else is like "I love The Wire too" we instantly have a connection. We can talk about favorite scenes, characters, Marlo or Avon, etc... The conversation can span a half hour with no effort. But only on that show. If someone loved Boy Meets World (just as I do) that would spawn a smile and agreement, but not a debate or discussion. So why do some shows do this, while most don't? 

I think I started to notice it with The Sopranos. Watching that (or I guess Sex and the City too) became almost chic. It is the "it" thing to do. If you came into work on Monday and didn't know what happened on Sunday nights episode, you were left out of water cooler chats. 

But now it seems that television shows dictate our perceived personalities. Example: If someone loves Game of Thrones and Mad Men, I can probably tell I will get along with them. If I know NOTHING else about them, I can probably make that assumption. If they loved The Wire and The Sopranos, I can probably tell I will LOVE them. These people could be baseball hating kleptos, and would assume I would like them solely based on the television they watched. 

This theory doesn't apply to books, music or even movies. Just TV. I have no idea exactly why this happens, but found it to be something worth looking into more... 

Tell me about a time when...

I don't get to see my closest friends all that much anymore. Large bodies of land tend to keep us apart. After high school, everyone except me moved out of Minneapolis on to bigger, better things. San Francisco, Jacksonville, Rio de Janeiro, La Crosse and New York. So needless to say my face to face time with them has been somewhat scarce the past few years.
But the modern invention of the phone (we don't really Facebook, text or skype - we keep it old school) allows us to chat every so often. And every so often, we may catch each other in a particular mood. 
As for last night, we were in a mood. A random call to say "what up" turned into a half hour call about times we ducked from the police in our more....rambunctious days. As most know, I wasn't exactly the model citizen between 15 - 22. I thought that late night graffiti sessions were the epitome of my existence. 
The trading of back and forth stories about getting caught in a train yard or climbing down from a billboard always makes me happy. For the most part, none of us ever really got locked up. A few humble trespassing and lurking charges was about all we ever got. Some friends actually got felony charges, but they were much more big time than I was. 
This morning when I got up, I had to call my mom to tell her how sorry I was for being a delinquent. I know she put up with a lot of things that most parents would never had. There came a time when anytime she saw me with my backpack she used to say "jump" to see if any spray cans would clank around in there. We laugh about it now, but sneaking paint in and out of your house when you're 16 is a full time job! 
I loved those late night painting missions we all used to go on. So many of my best life stories start out with "So Mike and I were out piecing...". But I'm more thankful that I never got fully caught up in it. So many of the people I used to run with back in the day are still up to those old tricks. Because of their records, they can't get jobs, they never went to college, they're barely making it by in life. A few more bad decisions in my youth would have probably led me down that path as well... 
I still get texts from a couple of those guys today. "wanna hit some spots"? But as much as that gets me excited (and mostly makes me wonder "do I still got it"?), I have no interest in climbing under fences, getting chased by dogs, possibly falling off a structure or jumping into the river to avoid capture, like I used to. In the infamous words of Roger Murtaugh "I'm too old for this shit". 

Sidenotes:
- I need to get out to San Francisco to see Mike. I've been a lousy friend 
- I need to get to Florida to see Drew. I've been a lousy friend (congrats on the wedding BTW)
- I actually got to spend 2 hours reading today. It was glorious 
- The best thing to pair a glass of red wine with, is another glass of red wine

Training Day

It's crazy how fitness can take over your life. At first, it's just eating healthy. Maybe you switch out regular produce for organic. You decide that soda and sugary drinks are overrated and you simply opt out for water. And then you take it one step farther. No more processed food. If you can't grow it or kill it, you don't eat it.
But then you start to have more energy. But what to do with all that energy? Workout of course. And workouts start out simple enough. A 5 mile run here, a 20 mile bike ride there, a few gym days in between. But then you start to learn more. If you match your diet to your workout, you'll start to see a lot of changes. All of a sudden, you're running 8 minute miles, you're able to squat and deadlift a lot more and you start to change in the mirror.
Then you're hooked. There's no going back. Then it's an almost obsession. You're matching the amount of grams per body weight to how many grams of protein your in taking. You're carbs only constitute 30% or less of your diet. And you start to be the odd one at your family functions because you won't have any pasta, cake or pie.
And while everyone else is out of shape and slightly heavy, YOUR the one that's looked at like the weird one. "Jon, you've always loved pancetta. Why are you only eating that chicken and rice stuff"?
And then you have a summer outing with your family and they all go "wow, you must have a fast metabolism". No. I workout like it's not an option and I eat well. It's literally that simple.
And I'm not saying I was ever on both sides of the spectrum. I was always pretty lean and never overweight by ANY means. And I'm also not a body builder. I love wine too much to ever get down below 8% body fat. I get that. But I can run faster and farther, jump higher, lift more and hit a baseball farther than I ever have in my life. And while I'll probably peak within the next 10 years, I'm going to make sure I at least have a peak worth having.

Random Sidenotes:
1. I love the movie Midnight In Paris. I am definitely one of those people who long for bygone days and romanticize the past. Especially in Paris.
2. The old Jazz station on my Pandora is the best. It Had to be You is currently on. I love that song.
3. I'm sort of thinking of getting a half sleeve tattoo. But I have no idea about what.
4. Atlas Shrugged is much better as a book than it is on my iPod.

Cool like dat

Sunday mornings are my favorite. Except for this one. Watching the Trayvon verdict last night left me with a lot of mixed emotions. I had some lengthy conversations with some of the people I consider to be great minds in my life afterwards, but still wasn't able to completely resolve it internally. 
On one hand, the fact that a young man was killed when he probably didn't need to be, is a travesty in itself. Like most, I think race had a great deal to do with the decision to follow and assault him. I think that if Trayvon looked like me, this case wouldn't be an issue at all. 
On the other hand, we have a justice system that is set up to dictate a result "beyond a reasonable doubt". If I was ever on trial for something, I would want there to be a 100%-no-doubt decision about my guilt. If there was the slightest chance I was innocent (pending that I actually was), I would not want to be locked up. The same can be said here. 
What I have the biggest issue with is that there was no guilt in the verdict. Obviously 1st degree murder would be to harsh, but I see no reason a grown ass man needed to kill a boy much smaller than him because he felt threatened. And obviously I'm no lawyer, but I have to imagine that there is a murder degree that would be applicable in this case. I hope the appropriate result will come out one day, but less than 12 hours after the decision, it still feels so up in the air...

Sidenotes:
- I have been consuming such a crazy amount of chicken these past few months. I feel like I'm single handily wiping out an entire generation of chickens. 
- I forgot how good Sam Cooke is. One of his songs came on my shuffle a few days ago, and I've been trying to recreate his catalog on itunes. Such an amazing voice that we lost too early.
- I've really been dying to watch Stand By Me, The Sandlot and Do The Right Thing recently. Maybe it's because it's summer, but those are some awesome movies. 
- I'm really having writers block when it comes to this new book. It's revolving around baseball, but it needs to be something better than just a love story... 
- Candy Crush is running my life

99 problems but a blog ain't one

I'm currently listening to the new Jay Z album on heavy rotation. Minus the cut with Rick Ross (one of my least favorite rappers EVER) the joint is pretty good. But then I started thinking that it's such a change from what Jay used to be. Which of course led me to break out the old Hov albums. And I have to say, old Jay Z goes HARD. To the point where I really miss his old stuff. The jams with Primo have to be some of my favorite songs of all time. Now, he spends way too much time trying to please the masses with Pharell and Kanye beats. The Black Album was probably the last album that was actually good.
Did I really just use a paragraph to talk about Jay Z? I guess I did....

Sidenote time:
- I am way too into Candy Crush. It's literally taken over part of my life
- Softball is off to a very slow season. We lost our 1st game
- Can't leave rap alone the game needs me

Ain't no such thing as halfway crooks

I sometimes forget what it is to be Jon (not meaning to talk in the 3rd person). I spend so much time being a dad/husband/employee, that I don't really get a lot of time to just kick back and be random. It's always so strange to have people who see me at work, see me outside of work. They're always like "You're a really different person". I wouldn't say I'm completely different, but I do tend to filter myself a little bit more between 8-5.
When you run into me at say, a wedding, or biking around the lakes, you'll probably get a very different side of me. A more authentic me. The kind that probably has a marker in his pocket out of habit for writing things on trash cans. Not that I'm out hitting train yards anymore, but I still have a backpack in my basement "just in case". And every so often I may get the itch. Age doesn't stop that. Though it's more so for my own benefit than trying to get up for 16 year old kids.
I guess the point of all this, is that there is no point to this blog. Welcome to my randomness.

Deuces.

This Ain't No Game

I'm totally in love with Game of Thrones. So far, it's just the TV series (as I haven't jumped into the books yet). It's literally the best show I've seen since The Wire.

Now, in no way do I think it will ever overtake The Wire as my all time favorite show, but it's getting up there. The Wire not only made me think, it actually made me feel. I wish I would have watched The Wire live instead of through the DVDs.

I think the reason I love it so much is that I have feelings for the characters. I seriously hate Joffrey. I mean, REALLY hate that kid. If I could, I would punch him in the neck.

And I LOVE Tyrion. I want to hang out with that guy so bad. I could see the hashtag now: #TyriJonB #BFFs. And I totally have celeb crushes on most of the females on that show. I mean, Margaery and Sansa? Never had girls like that in my high school. But let's be honest: I've been to the Renaissance Festival. Girls like that didn't exist back then.
I'm only now catching up. I just finished season 2 and can't wait to get into season 3 sometime soon.

Sidenotes:
- Have you heard Anthony Hamilton's "Charlene"? It came out a while ago, but damn it's a good jam. Currently listening to it now....on repeat.
- I cannot wait for softball season to start up
- The best thing to pair a glass of red wine with is another glass or red wine. FACT
- I hate Youtube ads
- I need to get up on Tumblr
- I need to get back out to San Francisco. I miss Mike Boo

Happy May Day

Had a super deep conversation with one of the closest homies I grew up with last night. It made me question a lot of what I know. Mostly, around what makes us happy. The quote he said that really sparked me was "Jon B, if I can just make like $30k a year, I'd be straight". I didn't laugh, but I asked, "how could you possibly live off that"? He thought I was nuts. I mean, how COULDN'T I live off that?
Our perceptions were just very different. With 30k, he could afford a used car for his girlfriend and pay rent at his current place. He would also be able to take her out on dates, buy some shoes, and enjoy things that brought him happiness. My perception was that I wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage, my every-4-week-haircuts, and tailored clothes.
But it really wasn't that long ago that I could have actually been in the same mind set as him. For a long while, I wanted to teach and was prepared to make $28k starting out. I was going to teach, live in a studio on the south side, bike to work and buy used clothes. And that would have made me happy.
But as I grew, promotions came, life shifted direction and slightly spun out of control. If I could, I would still be content living in a small loft, biking to work and spending time at a library,

But other questions started to come out in our conversation last night. Like, how did I make it out? Almost all of my friends followed the same paths: jail, no college, moved to a different city or passed away. But I'm the only one who followed the "normal" path: Graduated college, got a great job in corporate america, got married, bought a house in the burbs, had a kid. The only thing I'm missing is a mini van.
I had the exact same environment as my friends, yet turned out very different. The strange thing is, I only feel different on the outside. I will still hit a train yard every once in a while. I will still get random and find myself in questionable situations. It's like a part of me never grew up....

I really had no idea where this blog was going. I guess I sort of rambled on and on. I guess the bottom line is that I somehow turned into a successful yuppy. And a yuppy that is going to jump on his fixed gear and bike down to Powderhorn Park for May Day to hang out with a ton of like minded folks.

Happy Easter

As a non practicing Catholic, I always feel slightly guilty around Easter and Christmas. Right now, at this very moment, I'm drinking coffee, eating some toast with raspberry jam and have my feet up on my couch. I should probably be in church. Oddly, I observe Lent. I always have. But yet I skip church on Sunday.
If there was any a Easter for me to be at the Basilica, it would be today. We have a new pope. Which in the Catholic world, is a pretty big deal. But I'm more content with blogging about random ass things, going to the gym and browsing the Internet. I'm the worst kind of Catholic.
I'm not 100% sure where my faith went stray. Probably sometime during junior high school. My parents were obviously raised strong Catholics, but never made me go to church. Mostly because they didn't attend themselves. I think they felt they paid their dues during Catholic school or something. So needless to say, I never made it a priority. Living across the street from a church, lent itself to easy come, easy go. So I would drift in and out during random Sundays. But I found myself more preoccupied with things like graffiti, sleeping in and riding my bike.
But as I sit here looking at my kid, I wonder what I'll do with him? I doubt I would ever push any kind of religion on him, but I also want to provide him with some guardrails in life. But it's hard to say "Observe Lent because the bible says so", but then also saying that I feel the bible is flawed in it's verbiage of marriage. We can't pick and choose what sentences to model our lives after when it's convenient.
In unrelated news, it is starting to finally get nice out. My bike is all prepped for when this snow is gone I'm super excited. And I can't wait for the Cubs to start playing again.

Better Than Ezra

Remember that band? They had that one good jam called "Good". Loved that song...

Anywho. I got into a great discussion with a friend yesterday over lists. We love lists: Who is the best basketball player ever, what was the greatest movie ever, etc... We live for lists. We love to organize and prioritize for some reason. But it got us thinking - what are the best things in life (from only my perspective)? So I thought I would put together the Jon B list or random ass things. Most people who don't know me, probably won't understand this, but that's ok.

Best movie:
1. Goodfellas. My all time favorite
2. Do The Right Thing
3. Clerks
4. Caddyshack
5. Full Medal Jacket

Best TV Series:
1. The Wire
2. The Sopranos
3. Mad Men
4. OZ
5. Tie: Parks & Rec/New Girl (both could change, as they are super new)

Best flavor of bubble gum
1. Bubble gum
2. There are no other flavors

Worst ideas for a blog:
1. A blog about lists. I've already lost interest, so I'll end here...

Free Time. Oh I've missed you

Since having a kid, I get little to no free time. Except for times like right now when he's snoozing in his rocker. #dadprobs.
It's hard not to be somewhat resentful at the fact that I can't do anything for myself these days. For instance, I've been trying to start writing another book. But to actually get a few hours to do it doesn't exactly come easy. Last year, I tried to learn how to play the guitar. I've gotten decent, but I haven't picked it up in almost 2 months. Time with friends is out the window. Mostly because my friends are so random, just getting together for a beer and some shenanigans is no longer a monthly occurrence. Photography used to be one of my greatest pleasures. But I can't exactly go wandering the streets on a photog walk at random anymore.
People keep telling me it will get easier. I hope so. I feel like I've stopped growing as a human. I used to take great enjoyment in trying and experiencing new things. Now, my new things are seen through the eyes of my son. This post wasn't meant to sound selfish, though I feel like I'm feeling a little bit of that these days.
But I do pride myself on my ability to change, swaddle and repeat without fail these days. Will I one day become the Adam Breverman of Minneapolis? Possibly, though I fancy myself a little more of a Phil Dunphy.

A Year in Review

I was going to write a post reflecting on me getting another year older and (maybe) wiser, but the passing of an awesome woman takes precedence.
For those that knew Ma Cooper knew that she was something special. I think the only time I ever called her Pat was the first time. She quickly told me that since I knew Mike, I could call her Ma. The next sentence she uttered to me I will never forget: "You do that graffiti stuff? Well, I don't care if you do that tagging on planes, trains or whatever, but don't you dare do any of that crap in my house". I never did.
She was one of those women that everyone in a particular community group knew. I think she has fed or clothed damn near everyone of the Ted's Basement group. Obviously with growing up and moving away from the Southside, I didn't get the chance to interact with her as much as I used to. I really wish I had. She was always so full of energy, wit, sass and life when I did get to see her. I will miss her at random barbecues and holiday parties.

Three Months In

Three months in, and Jayson is still breathing. Which means, I guess I'm doing my job.
I know that might seem simple and very basic, but as a 1st time parent, I have ZERO idea about what I should be doing. I carry him around like a football which he loves, if a nuk drops on the floor, I might look the other way, and I may not be the best at dressing him up. But I'm ok with all of that as long as he remains happy and healthy.
Each day is a journey. Yes, that was a very cliche statement. But it's true. I feel like he grows a ton between the time I go to work and when I come home. It's actually pretty amazing.
He's at the point in his life when he's cooing and trying to talk. It's hilarious. It's amazing how much he acts like me. Sometimes not for the better...