A Year in Review

I was going to write a post reflecting on me getting another year older and (maybe) wiser, but the passing of an awesome woman takes precedence.
For those that knew Ma Cooper knew that she was something special. I think the only time I ever called her Pat was the first time. She quickly told me that since I knew Mike, I could call her Ma. The next sentence she uttered to me I will never forget: "You do that graffiti stuff? Well, I don't care if you do that tagging on planes, trains or whatever, but don't you dare do any of that crap in my house". I never did.
She was one of those women that everyone in a particular community group knew. I think she has fed or clothed damn near everyone of the Ted's Basement group. Obviously with growing up and moving away from the Southside, I didn't get the chance to interact with her as much as I used to. I really wish I had. She was always so full of energy, wit, sass and life when I did get to see her. I will miss her at random barbecues and holiday parties.

Three Months In

Three months in, and Jayson is still breathing. Which means, I guess I'm doing my job.
I know that might seem simple and very basic, but as a 1st time parent, I have ZERO idea about what I should be doing. I carry him around like a football which he loves, if a nuk drops on the floor, I might look the other way, and I may not be the best at dressing him up. But I'm ok with all of that as long as he remains happy and healthy.
Each day is a journey. Yes, that was a very cliche statement. But it's true. I feel like he grows a ton between the time I go to work and when I come home. It's actually pretty amazing.
He's at the point in his life when he's cooing and trying to talk. It's hilarious. It's amazing how much he acts like me. Sometimes not for the better...

Beautiful Boy

Yes, I know I haven't been blogging a lot lately. And to be honest, it will probably be a while before I do so again. Reason? We had our first child last week. While it's the most exciting thing to ever happen, it's also the hardest. When they say that you won't get a lot of sleep, they weren't exaggerating. When someone needs to eat every 3 hours, and it takes about an hour and a half to change and feed him, well, you can do the math...
I wouldn't change it for the world right now. While getting peed on isn't top on my list of favorite things, when he laughs at it, I can't help but smile. Thankfully, he looks more like his mother so he can at least get a date when he gets to high school.
One thing that I've noticed, is that your circle of friends changes when you have a kid. Like when you get married, you lose some of your single friends and start hanging out with married couples more. And when you have a kid, you drop off some of your couple friends in exchange for couples with kids. And because almost ALL of my friends are happy and content bachelors, I need to make some new friends (kids optional). However, that doesn't mean I'll be limiting my time with Mike, Drew, Steve or Victor while they're in town. To be honest, some people with kids are downright odd (trust me, you known the type). I'll explore that creature in a later blog post.
Well, baby boy needs some attention. I'll let you know more about our adventures as they happen.

Bo's Nose Knows

But Bo Jackson cannot help me find a new cologne. I spend almost an hour at Nordstroms and Macys trying to find a new cologne for the Fall. I walked out of both stores empty handed. Oh well, I guess I'll stick with what I got for the time being.

On a sidenote, it literally hit me this week that I'll never be a legit uncle. Sure, Kristen's niece and nephew are, but that's really because it's through marriage. But being an only child means that I'll never be directly related to someone like that. I have lots of cousins, but no brother or sister. As I write that, it feels somewhat lonely. Especially since I haven't always been the closest Michael or Crystal since we were kids. But as you can see by the picture to the left, Michael and me can have some pretty awesome times too.

We did a LINK activity at work this week and it really got me thinking about the role I play in my family. It used to be such a defined role - the oldest. Being the oldest (also the 1st male) in my family was a HUGE thing. Most of my family (especially my grandmother) showed lots a favoritism towards me. I could do no wrong. I played that role up. I always made sure to always be "the good one", I never got in trouble. And when I did get in trouble I always made sure to spin it off to be someone else's fault. But over the years I think that created a gap between my cousins and me. It was a semi-competion. And in the end, I never lost. Because I made sure that whatever I had, was what we were competing for.
Looking back now, I should have spend more time connecting with them, and less time being the cooler, older one. I can't even remember the last time I called up one of them for coffee. I went to Italy with my Aunt and Uncle who live in Colorado, but I don't make a decent effort to call people who live 5 minutes away...
When my grandmother passed away a few years ago, there was a void in my family that has never been  replaced. I doubt it ever will be. My aunt Sue took on the role for a while, but she passed away shortly after. I feel like I should have stepped up more after that, but I never did. Instead, I distanced myself further from them. Why? Great question. I have no idea. Maybe it was because I wanted to play chess while everyone else was stuck on checkers. I felt like I outgrew my family. I far exceeded everyone from an education standpoint (with the exception of my dad's mother who was a U of M professor). And somehow that made me feel (and still does) a little stuck up. While I may not be talking about political policy or classic literature with my family, I certainly can talk about warm coffee and the weather. And I need to commit to doing that more often.

Back to the Crib

I literally put together a crib today. I'm looking at it now. I sort of want to sleep in it. Nevermind the fact that I'm a grown ass man that won't fit.

But as I was building this massive structure, I thought to myself "Where are all my zany friends to help"? I've seen enough TV to know that one of two things happens when you assemble a crib:
1. I throw caution to the wind and disregard the telephone book sized instructions and make something that looks nothing like a crib. Or...
2. A group of my nutty friends come over and it's an all night bonding experience. We talk about the days before marriage, who got with which girl in high school, and we all come to some sort of epiphany at the end of it all. Well guess what? None of that happened. TV has lied to me once again. Instead, I put that crib together like a boss. But there were no shenanigans, no tomfoolery, no skullduggery.

I read a really good blog by Jill Mader that talked about how TV has diluted her perception of friendships. But how about how TV has completely ruined my perception of life was supposed to be like?
I wrote a while back about how my early childhood shows tainted my vision of love. I never met my Winnie Cooper, Topanga, Dina Alexander or Joey Potter. Yes, I met a great woman, but I searched and searched for those archetypes of women for a long time. There's a piece of me who still wants to be Vanilla Ice in Cool as Ice - roll into a small town on my motorcycle and woo some small town girl who has no perception of the inner city. Find me one person who doesn't want an Elliot Reid, Lana Lang or a Robin Scherbatsky. You won't find a one.

But enough about that. Sidenote time.
- I am totally in LOVE with the song Lost by Frank Ocean. I play it in my head as I walk around work, the gym and while in my car. If you look closely at me at work (with my headphones in) I am usually bobbing out to this. In fact, I'm blasting it right this second.
- Being sick is for the birds. I have a nasty summer cold that I can't seem to shake.
- I recently read The Art Of Racing In The Rain. The book should be called "the art of not buying this book EVER".
- I am still giddy over my pen purchases a few weeks ago. They are totes.
- How oh how have I never thought to make a rap song/album called "Rapscallion"?

Consider the source

Advice. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Most times it's not even good or sound. Take me for example. In my personal life, my advice is usually the worst possible thing you can listen to.

For instance: I have a friend. For the sake of this story, we will call that friend Darrel. While in high school, he was having some trouble with his girlfriend. Instead of saying something like "Actually, what you said may have actually hurt her. You should call her up and apologize". My response was "Oh you were totally in the right. That girl is psycho. We should go out and forget about her".
Long story short, we ended up running from the police through the Dinkytown train yard, spending 20 minutes in the Mississippi river, getting a hunk of cheese thrown at us by a group of hobos, and Darrel lost his wallet and house keys. Looking back now, that was one of the funniest stories I tell at parties. But Darrel lost a really good girl because of my advice. By the time he got around to apologizing to her, her response was literally "You obviously weren't THAT sorry because you spent all night out with Jon B". I wonder how many times those words have been uttered by other significant partners...?

Since I've gotten older (and hopefully wiser), I think my advice has finally caught up. The reason for thinking this is because DeJean got into Georgetown University. DeJean was someone I met when he was in 9th grade while I taught at his school. He was literally one of the most thugged out kids there. But he had a part of him that was out of this world unique. We related quickly, talked about rap and graffiti, and formed a pretty good bond. After teaching at the school we stayed in touch (mostly through email) and I would give him advice and tips on people to meet with when he finally decided that college was something that he wanted to do. Needless to say his "family" had no way to pay for school so we spent a lot of time talking about grants and scholarships. He applied to a lot of places and eventually got accepted to Georgetown. He is also getting a full ride. I hooked him up with a UPS job out there so he'll have some spending money. He sent me an email the other day talking about the change of scenery. He's even going to have a study program with one of my favorite people on the earth, Michael Eric Dyson. I told him for all the work I put in, he needs to go to West Baltimore and take some famous Wire-Spot pictures for me. He said he left the ghetto to go out there, and has no interest to go take pictures in one. I admire him for that.

Sidenotes!
-It's the 46th street block party today. Hopefully it doesn't rain
-Just reread The Old Man and the Sea. Such a great book
-Drew gets home soon. If I'm in town, I'll have to throw it down with him. Forces will collide if Mike Boo is in town the same week. That's like what happens when you cross rays in Ghostbusters. If Steve Dahl gets in the mix, you have the formula for a legendary weekend.
-Twitter takes up a lot of my time

Pens like whoa

Since about 7th grade, I've been on the never-ending search for the best pen. It's probably one of the nerdiest things that exist in my life. Ponce de Leon had his fountain of youth, I have my fountain pens. I can safely say that I've never found "the one". I used to think pens were strictly for writing notes and such. But then in middle school, I got introduced to Prismacolors while sketching (funny how so many things today stem directly from my graffiti stage). 

After I found out about the awesomeness of the Prismas, I was destined to find the best pen for every day activities. I will say that I have found the best work pen. It's the Zebra brand. I can't live without it. My whole day gets thrown off when I lose them bouncing back and forth between meetings!

But recently, I've been looking for the best pen for journaling. Mostly, I've been using a fancy calligraphy pen that I found at an antique shop, but it's not very adaptable. It's great for when I'm laying in bed or sitting in the loft, but not for when I'm on a biking trip. I need one that I can travel easily with.

So I ventured out yesterday, and I think I actually found some! I have a very easy criteria for these pens: 1. Be comfortable. 2. Don't bleed through the pages. 3. Write with an ink flow that cascades. You see, my handwriting is sometimes sketch when I'm going fast, and I need a pen that can keep up. I'll let you know the updates of the 4 I bought (I know you must be dying with anticipation). I also found out a brand from Japan that I had to special order. According to a work peer, it contains ink that isn't available in the US! 

Sidenotes:

- The only thing she gotta make for dinner is the reservations. Classic Sir Michael line.

- I love this weekend. 3 big art fairs + my bike + a little ambition = dopeness.

- I love Twitter more and more each day

- What would life be like without wasabi? I don't know, but I don't want a life like that. 

- Reading books that I'm not even 75% loving is difficult.

- Got a text from the old gang asking "You down for making a comeback album"? Sure it was a joke, but now that I reflect on it, I might actually be down for making another record. But this time I would actually hook up with legit musicians and find an actual studio. I wonder what kind of appetite the Twin Cities would have for another rap album...? Slim to none.