Bo's Nose Knows

But Bo Jackson cannot help me find a new cologne. I spend almost an hour at Nordstroms and Macys trying to find a new cologne for the Fall. I walked out of both stores empty handed. Oh well, I guess I'll stick with what I got for the time being.

On a sidenote, it literally hit me this week that I'll never be a legit uncle. Sure, Kristen's niece and nephew are, but that's really because it's through marriage. But being an only child means that I'll never be directly related to someone like that. I have lots of cousins, but no brother or sister. As I write that, it feels somewhat lonely. Especially since I haven't always been the closest Michael or Crystal since we were kids. But as you can see by the picture to the left, Michael and me can have some pretty awesome times too.

We did a LINK activity at work this week and it really got me thinking about the role I play in my family. It used to be such a defined role - the oldest. Being the oldest (also the 1st male) in my family was a HUGE thing. Most of my family (especially my grandmother) showed lots a favoritism towards me. I could do no wrong. I played that role up. I always made sure to always be "the good one", I never got in trouble. And when I did get in trouble I always made sure to spin it off to be someone else's fault. But over the years I think that created a gap between my cousins and me. It was a semi-competion. And in the end, I never lost. Because I made sure that whatever I had, was what we were competing for.
Looking back now, I should have spend more time connecting with them, and less time being the cooler, older one. I can't even remember the last time I called up one of them for coffee. I went to Italy with my Aunt and Uncle who live in Colorado, but I don't make a decent effort to call people who live 5 minutes away...
When my grandmother passed away a few years ago, there was a void in my family that has never been  replaced. I doubt it ever will be. My aunt Sue took on the role for a while, but she passed away shortly after. I feel like I should have stepped up more after that, but I never did. Instead, I distanced myself further from them. Why? Great question. I have no idea. Maybe it was because I wanted to play chess while everyone else was stuck on checkers. I felt like I outgrew my family. I far exceeded everyone from an education standpoint (with the exception of my dad's mother who was a U of M professor). And somehow that made me feel (and still does) a little stuck up. While I may not be talking about political policy or classic literature with my family, I certainly can talk about warm coffee and the weather. And I need to commit to doing that more often.